SCUTTLEBUTT in slang usage means rumor or gossip, deriving from the nautical term for the cask used to serve water (or, later, a water fountain). The term corresponds to the colloquial concept of a water cooler in an office setting, which at times becomes the focus of congregation and casual discussion.
LV - NYC - Orlando
LV - NYC - Orlando
Suicide and Reacting To It
April 10, 2018
"That's the thing about suicide. Try as you might to remember how a person lived his life, you always end up thinking about how he ended it." -Anderson Cooper
reactions to a suicide attempt
It is important
for you to be aware of your own feelings, and avoid reacting in ways that could
block communication or cause your loved one to react angrily or withdraw.
Unhelpful responses include:
Panicking: “This can’t be happening. I don’t know what to do – what do we do?”
Name-calling: “You’re a real psycho.”
Criticising: “That was such a stupid thing to do.”
Preaching or lecturing: “You know you shouldn’t have done that; you should’ve asked for help.”
Ignoring: “If I just pretend this didn’t happen, it’ll go away.”
Abandoning the person: “I can’t take this, I have to leave.”
Punishing the person: “I’m not talking to them until they straighten themselves out.”
Dramatising: “This is the worst possible thing you could have done!”
Simplifying things or using a ‘quick-fix’ approach: “You just need some medication, and then you’ll feel yourself again.”
Being angry or offended: “I can’t believe you’d try that!”
Making the person feel guilty or selfish: “How did you think this would make me feel?”
What to say to
someone who has attempted suicide
report that they find it difficult to support someone who has attempted suicide
because they feel they don’t know what to say. It can be hard to find the right
words when you’re feeling overwhelmed and emotional yourself.
Create a ‘safe
space,’ where the person feels loved, cared about, accepted, supported and
understood. Letting the person know you support them, and asking open-ended
questions, can help to open the lines of communication. The following
suggestions may serve as prompts:
I’m sorry you’ve been feeling so awful. I’m so glad you’re still here.
I’m here for you. Remember that you can always talk to me if you need to.
I want to help you. Tell me what I can do to support you.
someone who has attempted suicide: What to say
Be available and let the person know you will listen. It is vital to create a ‘safe space’ for the person to talk – this helps to build or re-establish trust between you and the person you are concerned about.
Try to understand the feelings and perspective of the person before exploring solutions together.
It may be advisable to remove possible means to suicide, including drugs and alcohol, to keep the person safe.
Support the person in exploring and developing realistic plans and solutions to deal with their emotional pain. In order to let go of suicide as a solution, they will need to see real changes in their life. It is usually a case of making small steps in the beginning, as the person’s difficulties haven’t been created overnight.
It is important for the suicidal person to assume as much responsibility as possible for their own welfare as they are capable of at that time. This might be difficult for you to consider, as you might not feel able to trust your loved one at the moment.
Enlist the help of others and make sure you get family and friends to assist you to support the person.
Remember that you do not have to fill the role of counsellor, psychiatrist or doctor yourself. Encourage your loved one to utilise the professional supports available to them.
Consider assisting the person to write a safety plan that will detail the steps they need to take to keep themselves safe if they feel suicidal. Having a concrete plan in place may help both of you feel more prepared and in control about the possibility of future suicidal thoughts.
people about the suicide attempt
there is still a degree of stigma surrounding suicide. This may make it
difficult to talk about your loved one’s suicide attempt, as you may fear that
you or they will be judged or criticised.
It is important
to remember that it is up to you who you choose to tell about the situation,
and how much you reveal to them.
You may find it
helpful to prepare something to say when asked about the suicide attempt, such
as a simple: ‘yes, it’s a difficult time for us, but we’re getting him/her the
support he/she needs.’
people who have also been in similar situations, such as through a carers’
support group, may offer you a source of non-judgemental support and
someone who has attempted suicide can be emotionally draining, stressful and
exhausting. It is impossible to watch over someone 24/7. It is vital
that you look after yourself and get the support you need. This is not
something you need to deal with alone. Ensure you have
adequate support systems in place yourself. Identify trusted family members or
friends that you can talk to, or join a local support group.